slamat beraye yer..

To All My Fans Out There,
& dearly treasured friends. ..

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!!!

maaf zahir batin
(apologies inside-out.. apologies from within)
salah silap mintak2 korg lupekan saje yer?? -hehe-
(hopefully u all look pass my wrongs & mistakes yea?)
tak bagos simpan buat dendam.. dosa. -HeheHe-
(no good keepin it for vengeance/revenge.. it's sinful)

let's pray we'll get to see the next Ramadhan..
for those naughty and/or evil ones..
pray harder~

yok gi collection~!!
let's go collection~!!

-[n.Joy]-

... .

Finally.. i got my very 1st "A" for this semester.
Bloody hell, wait so long, now then get.
And yea, that's for Culture module.

iTunes shuffle is great today.
as if it knows what kind of mood i'm in.
there's no need for me to skip any songs.

for your info. i feel crappy. ..
i am crappy.
and crappy people are suppose to feel happy - always.
not today.
and alot of things contributed to me feeling this way.
-fasting month ending.. i know, i've said this many times. .. wonder if i've done good.
-hari raya coming.. yeay? not really. changes comes with time. or vice versa. take your pick.
-& other more personal matters.. bla bla bla. ..

realised recent postings have been rather long.
i wonder. .. nvm.
so. ..
alrite.. i'll shut up now.

http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com/

procrastinated entry.

1) Full Name: Muhammad Hidhir Bin Mohamed Nassir (as stated in B/C)

2) Name Backwards: hidhir muhammad. .. (not the spelling rite??)

3) Meaning of names: wad names? i only got one name. .. named after a prophet supposedly.

4) Nickname: She-dir/s-hidhir. betty. & OI!

5) Screen Name: [dir].

6) D.O.B: eighth.october.onenineeighteight.

7) Place of Birth: born @ my 1st home.. seriously. ask me 4 verification.

9) Current Location: home. facing laptop.

10) Star Sign: peace. ahaha. .. Libra.

11) Height: 5' 4" ??

12) Religion: Muslim

13) Weight: 52kg. fasting laa. .. (excuses)

14) Shoe Size: get me new pair of chuck taylors. size 8 please.

15) Hair colour: dark black (no such ting rite bodo..)

16) Eye colour: very dark brown. or so it seems.

17) Who do you look like: Johnny Depp. some say Brad Pitt.

18) Innie or outtie: what the hell? wear underwear inside or outside izit?? i am no superman.

19) Lefty or Righty: right-handed. both footed.

20) Gay, straight, bi or others: i'm gay & straight. i wan a lesbian girlfren. .. THERE ARE "others"??

21) Best Friend: sorry 2 disappoint. i am my own best fren. i have voices in my head rmbr?

22) Best Friend you trust the most: i dun even trust myself u xpect me 2 trust others. ..?

23) Favourite Pals: i dislike favoritism. .. nvm. Lepak Krew. some mobSTAs. team vapours.

24) Best friend of opposite sex: i rate em all fairly & equally ok.. at least i try to. "A" for effort can, girls?

25) Best Buddies: what's the diff btween diz & no. 23??

26) Boyfriend or Girlfriend: yes. i would like to have one. .. girlfren la.. den wad.

27) Crush: hush.

28) Parents: yes, i have. thanks 4 askin.

29) Worst enemy: i dun make enemies. i make babies. ahaha. .. ok la. my inner self.

30) Favourite online guy: erm. .. i dun do gay porn.

31) Favourite online girl: Jenna Jameson. guys shud knw who's she. u dun, i tink i knw why. u surf for the "other" kind - hint: no. 30

32) Craziest Friend: duno leh.. i tink Rachel deserve this title.. or John.

33) Advice Friend: aunt agony. waHaHa~

34) Loudest Friend: in terms of decibels.. Rachel again.

35) Person you cry with: ouh.. must cry with another person 1 ah.. didn't know that.

36) Any sisters: 2 years older. 3 years younger.

37) Any Brothers: 5 years older. my lil brother same age as me. hehehe.

38) Any pets: a couple of lizards. few cockroaches, ants, spiders and a brown bug.

39) Any diseases: disorders - maybe. diseases - hope not.

40) Pager: ol' skool seh. ..

41) Personal Phone line: 1800-S-HIDHIR (toll free)

42) Phone: yes i have one.

43) Lava Lamps: sure. .. if it's free.

45) A car: don't have. somebody buy me a Mini Cooper please. thank u.

46) Your personality: i am a good boy. ok la. y not u tell me. ..

47) Driving: not so soon. riding maybe.

48) Room: shared bedroom

49) What's missing: what's missing?? dun anyhow take my things la! okok. the dream girl in my arms.

50) School: ripabrik pori. ..

51) Bed: single

52) Relationship with parents: fine.

53) Believe in yourself: depends on the issue really.

54) Believe in love at first sight: once upon a time. ..

55) Good listener: perhaps. perhaps. perhaps. .. i've got 2 ears u see.

56) Get along well with parents: read 52.

57) Save e-mail Conversation: i duno.. didn't care to check. why? scared ah. ..

59) Believe in reincarnation: my faith tells me not.

60) Make fun of people: make people fun.

61) Like to talk on the phone: eh.. not for long. ..

62) Want to get married: why not.. and make babies!! (in other words: u-know-wad)

63) Like to drive: drive others crazy - Yes. ..

64) Motion Sickness: only wen i drive.

65) Eat stem of broccoli: nt yet i think.

66) Eat chicken with fork: no.. with curry.

67) Dream in colour: most of the time. ..

68)Type with your fingers on home role: define "home role". ..

69) Sleep with stuff animals: nong nong ago.. with Simba, the Lion King.

70) Next to you: left - book shelf. right - piyano.

71) On the wall of your room: cobwebs.. ahaha.

72) On your mousepad: *tet* irrelevant. no mousepad.

73) Dream Car: Mini Cooper.



74) Dream Date: that particular stranger. .. or Charlize Theron.. or or.. e beauty in the pic. ..


75) Dream Honeymoon Spot: Maldives.

76) Dream Husband or wife: Charlize Theron.. or Adriana Lima.. or just another beautiful stranger.

77) Bedtime: after i'm stoned-out.

78) Under your bed: dust. & a purple monGster. ..

79) Single most important question: when?

80) Bad time of the day: time to wake up.

81) Your worst fear: losing all the good things in life.

82) The weather is: do i look like the weather man??

83) Time: 12.48 am

84) Date: 21st oct 'o6

85) Best trick did on someone: sumthinsumthin. ..

86) Theme song: none in particular.

87) Hardest thing about growing: waking up to reality. ..

88) Funniest Experiences: those HAHAHAs & LOLs & LMAOs & ROFLs..

89) Scariest Experience: near death. ..

90) Sillest thing that you've ever said: not too sure.. very difficult to choose 1.

91) Most desperate & funniest thing you have done to get the opposite sex: seriously - i duno. i tend to NOT get them. ..

92) Scariest thing you have done with your friend: playin see-saw.

93) Worst feeling: helplessness. ..

94) Best feeling in the world: Contentment - which i seek. & to love and be loved.

get a pillow before you read this..

yea yea. ..
already got my baju kurung..
-what you mean already? left only 5 days to go..
ah.. shuddup you voiceinsidemyhead.

know how i got it?
-of coz not la bodoh. .. u haven't say how i know
shuddup before i kill you. ..
-go ahead.. u have to kill urself to kill me.. bodoh.
alamak. . . . . . . . .

okok.. here goes..

on the phone
bro: dir.. aku nk beli baju kurung.. ko baju size S kan.. (dir, i wana buy baju kurung.. u size 'S' rite?)
me: ah.. a'ah. (ah.. yah.)
bro: aku beli bla3.. (i buy bla3..) not impt.
me: ah.. ok. (ah.. ok.)
...
hangs up.

POWER RITE?!
and it all lasted for an eternity of less than a minute.
and i only said 4 words. ..

women.. LEARN.
hek*hek*hek*..

===stop here if u canot tahan alrdy==pls c'nue to read my longest RJ ever==pray u won't die reading===

i just feel like sharing.. and it's a late submission.

module: Culture
RJ qn: Cite an art piece that represents you or you can relate to. Give reasons for your choice.

The "Dance of Life" by Edvard Munch, 1899-1900. It's an oil on canvas painting.
http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/munch/munch.dance-life.jpg

Edvard Munch is the artist for the famously known art piece named “The Scream” (or “The Cry”), which is his best known work. His works are usually one of negativity, pessimism, which can be attributed by the loss of his loved ones when he was still young.

It took me some time to actually get a painting that I could instantly relate to, and this is it. I came across this artist’s page when I searched for “The Scream”. What impacted me was the dancing figures in the moonlit night, which I have long dreamt of doing, and also a favorite song titled “Dancing in the Moonlight”. That was the initial thought when I first saw it.

As I try to “read” what the painting is about, I see a generalization of what life is about.
The “single” ladies on either side of the painting, I see it as the two outlooks in life, positive (optimistic) and negative (pessimistic) – like the devil and angel in our minds telling us what to do. This is because they are the direct opposite of each other. One looks dark and forlorn, the other, bright and happy.

I feel that because of having and bringing about a positive aura around her, the optimistic lady, she actually made a flower grow around her, a sign of life.
It sends across the message that if you remain optimistic, there can and/or will be positive changes around you.

Also I feel that, no matter how many friends and people I am surrounded by, at the end of the day, I tend to feel alone, as depicted in the painting, the forlorn figure feeling all sad and lonely, even when there are people around her being happy and enjoying the dance.

The dancing couple, I do not know what to think of it except that even when two people are together, they can still be sad and unhappy. I wonder what is your take on that?

Maybe, as I see it, the lady in white is represents happiness for the someone you love, who chose to be with someone else (the lady in red), just like the phrase, “I’m happy for you”. Whereas, deep within, you cannot help but to feel hurt and depressed, looking at the person you love, dancing with somebody else.

I guess, all the above is what I am able to relate to, and the connection I have with the painting.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Thanx for reading and wasting ur time on me.
appreciate it.
thinkiflirtedwithmyfaci. ..
AWESOME~!
-------------------------------
saw 2 girls who i think is the Epitome of Beauty. 2 separate stories.
was standing right in front of me. and me? totally stumped. was caught lookin. but i don't mind cos she looks back with a smile.. and who could resist NOT lookin?????
-WOW- *jaw drops* pants didn't drop coz i was sitting. ..

Dearest God,
Can u let them know of my existence?
I promise I'll take good care of them, for it is u who gave them their flawless beauty.
I've long been on-hold. I don't think I want to be a stand-alone any longer. please.
thank you very much.

sincerestly,honestly
-sinnerintransition.

-without lifting a finger you're holdin me back-

CANNOT SLEEP AH!!
just cannot sleep..
can.. but cannot.
unable to.
understand? no?
good.

let's talk about my sleeping habit.
maybe i am what u call a nocturnal.
N-O-C-T-U-R-N-A-L.
maybe. why?
coz i'm wide awake at night finding things to do.

i don't go to sleep.
i fall asleep.
if i'm watchin tv, the TV will be watchin me soon after.
you'll know what's my day been like if i'm still awake late @ night.
i didn't do much.

but.. i still love getting myself stoned.
coz that's when my imaginary friends come to play.
like.. right now.

HI guys!! waazzzuuuppppppp~
bleeaaaarrghh~

Nero thinks i should get myself a girlfriend before i turn gay.
shut up.

i wanna have a lesbian girlfriend.
how great would that be.
cause then.. i'll have..
TWO girlfriends..
aHAHAhahahAHAHAhaha...
2 for 1. ..

if i could put a face to that..
she'd be the most, beautifullest girl i know.
she who's gonna be my maid. ahaha- shuddup

please let the existence of the most beautifullest and wonderfullest girl be known to me.
thank you. you'd be loved for life.

alritey. ..
gonna go join my friends now. ..
see YOU. .. when I. .. see YOU.

disclaimer: the above was written while author's thoughts was on a pendulum swing

10 days left of fasting..
so fast..
too fast..

kinda sad though..
sad that I didn't make good use of it..
i don't know how to say it..
it's like.. eh..

wasted.

well, it's not over yet..
but soon to be.

though i think i've been better than usual.

what's the use of bein good when you're not good enough?

-------------------------------------------------------------

"kau nyer prangai macam sial tau tak?"
i've been told that before. many times. ..
i think so too.
especially right now..
past couple of weeks, rather - towards skool.
RJs missing, myself missing, bleargh.

i suck?
i KNOW. ...

============================================

please be cruel to be kind to me.

thank you.

tank yoo

the band performed on friday.
turned 18 on sunday.
a day older from saturday.

and i've yet to go geylang.
not geylang geylang laa.
but the bazaar @ geylang.
i want my DENDENG~!!
who wants to follow?

and...

THANK YOU!!

to all that wished me a Happy Bdae.
& fothegiftsalso.

btw, im already 18years 2 days ol..
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahah

3 MORE DAYS

ok.
i'm not in the best condition to think after a strenous walk in the park.
so.. i'm gonna put up whatever that i want to put up below.
i don't even understand what i'm sayin rite now. ..
so.. u don't have to also.

3 DAYS TO BEING !*~!!
eh salah.. 18~!!

i think i have to set some goals for myself (and to actually, really, truly, achieve it).

motor license by June next year (money very difficult to find on the floor nowadays)
ROADTRIP/Backpacking to anywhere with 'em friends (Ubin anyone?)

aaahh.. i forgot what else..
ok lah.. nvm..
let's move on.


anyways. .. am i too late to make a wishlist?
ah waddahell. ..
these are just the stuffs i wana get my hands on:

pair of Chuck Taylors
backpack
slacker berms
more polo-Ts
vint Tees
(i duno what it's really called) male cardigan
suspenders
Fossil's Atari Asteroids watch

swatch original
my own drum kit.
digital SLR(single lens reflex - so clever)
external Hard-disk/iPod
(warranty expiring so cnfrm laptop crashin soon.. wah~ scary man)

&..

the beautifullest girl in the world (to be my maid)

still got sumore..
but i need to think..
which is near impossible right now..
lets juz save it for next tym..

oh yar.
i wanna grow taller..

-The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime.

why am i fearin. ..
tis not my first..
not goin be last.

3 days to get it all right.
frustrating.
stressed.
in the name fun.

not the time to say sorry.
there's no need to.
no time for worries.
not now.
how hard could this be.


breakin fast soon..
see you when i see you.